I had a conversation with a friend the other day who told me something I find to be revolutionary. She said that when she and her fiance were engaged, they made a committment to each other to never talk negatively or sarcastically about the other person, even in a joking way. She said that deep down within herself, when a joke is made about her, it brings out an insecurity and makes her wonder if somewhere in the statement or joke, there is truth lurking behind it. These 2 have been married 7 years and she said her husband has never, ever said a negative thing about her to anyone, in a joking way or otherwise. She told me how secure she feels in her relationship with him.
Wow! I have been chewing on this idea for a few days and I think a small committment like this could revolutionize marriage! For me, it means not joining in with the group of girlfriends who are talking about their husbands shortcomings, in a joking way, but knowing there is truth behind each jab.
Of course, if there is some serious problem or abuse happening, I would never reccommend keeping it quiet...just tell the appropriate person.
I'm doing it! I'm making the committment. You game?
Let's Connect!
Ceci
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1 comment:
Hi Ceci,
Your (friends) advice is so prudent and truthful. It lines perfectly with the golden rule about treating others as you wish to be treated. When we take the time to lift each other up in kindness and respect we feel even more secure in our relationships. Knowing that person will hold our interest to heart when we need them most.
In response to Emma's comment:
I am not sure if you will read this Emma but you have someone praying for you and your relationship with your husband. It is hard to tell why your husband is unable to accept compliments from you or why he treats you disrespectfully - I suspect someone in his past helped build those walls and anger within him.
The Bible says for wives to respect our husbands but it also tells husbands how they should treat their wife - and lack of kindness, abuse, etc. is not part of the man's authority over his wife.
I would just SO encourage you to seek counseling with your pastor or Christian counselor in your area. If he refuses to go you go for the sake of yourself and any children you have or may have.
Again, I will be praying deeply for your comfort and His healing hand on your marriage - remember through HIM all things are possible.
Prayerfully,
Kris
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